By Mark Ellis —
There were three attempts on his life while he worked as a male prostitute. Even though he hated God, he sensed that God saved his life on each occasion. At the core of his being was a hunger for love he never could quench, until a river of new life flowed into his heart.
“I was living a secret life as a male prostitute,” says David Kyle Foster, author of “Love Hunger” and the producer of a new documentary film, “Such Were Some of You.”
During his seven years as a male prostitute, he slept with three or four men a night. At the same time, he found a measure of success as an actor, landing a starring role in various B-movies, a string of national TV commercials, and several ‘Movies of the Week.’
During these years, disquietude filled his heart. “I had so much self-hatred inside me,” he says. “My father had been a pastor and here I was a male prostitute.” Foster was also heavily addicted to drugs and pornography.
There were three attempts to kill him when he worked as a prostitute. “On one of the incidents the man was viciously strangling me in the back of a car on a dark street,” he recalls.
In the violent struggle that ensued, he couldn’t breathe or cry out. “I just gave up because I wanted to die anyway,” he says. At the moment he gave up the will to live, words miraculously came out of his mouth he can’t explain.
“I am a good person,” Foster managed to utter. He believes he never would have said those words. He felt like God spoke the words through his mouth.
The concise self-affirmation seemed to momentarily startle his attacker and neutralize his psychotic rage. “The man thought he was doing God a favor by killing me. He didn’t know what to do so he ordered me out of the car.”
Foster sprang from the back seat and bolted down the street. As he ran through the shadows, he muttered, “God, I hate you. Why are you saving me like this?”
In the late ‘70s Foster had been living in an ashram and following the Guru Maharaj Ji, the so-called “Boy Guru,” also known as Prem Rawat. Rawat arrived in the U.S. at age 13 in 1971 and took the reins of the Divine Light Mission, established by his father.
Foster and many other young people were attracted to the Mission because of Rawat’s claim he could impart knowledge directly from God to his followers. Many lived communally in ashrams scattered around the U.S., guided by various “Mahatmas.”
Finding a River of Life
But after Foster’s brush with death, he opened the pages of the New Testament for the first time in many years.
“It was forbidden by the cult to read the Bible in the ashram,” he recalls, “so I read it under the covers at night with a flashlight.”
As he read from the Book of John, God’s truth pierced his heart. He started to pray, “God, I don’t want to be deceived if this guru is not you. I just want to follow the one true God.”
Then an amazing thing happened. “Suddenly something like a camera aperture opened in my chest and an incredible, powerful, rushing energy started pouring into my heart with great intensity,” he recounts.
“It was like being at the bottom of Niagara Falls and having it hit you full on.” His old heart seemed to melt away, as if it went into another dimension.
Foster says it was a very physical sensation. “I was on the floor from it. It felt like a raging waterfall. It sounded like a million voices.”
Even though it was somewhat terrifying, he experienced something wonderful at the same time. “It felt like liquid love. I knew I was loved completely and unconditionally despite all I had done.”
“That really grabbed me, the fact that I could be loved by God in spite of all the evil in my past.”
Later, as he read John 4, he sensed he had experienced the River of Living Water described by Jesus.
As a result of this powerful experience, Foster decided he must go to Israel and try to find the real Jesus.
Israel tour
He signed up for a secular tour through UCLA, because he didn’t trust Christians. At the end of the tour he was alone on the Mount of Olives, and began to tag along behind a Christian group. Then he had a second mystical experience with God.
“As the pastor stopped and read words from the Bible, I heard Jesus also saying them in my spirit. There was one audible voice and one inner voice. God was tuning me into a radio frequency where the eternal Word was being spoken,” he recounts.
“I thought, ‘Wow, the Bible is literally the Word of God.’ Nobody had ever suggested that to me before.”
Foster walked into the Garden of Gethsemane and knelt down at the rock where it is said that Jesus kneeled on the night he was arrested. Then Foster began to pray.
“God, whoever you are, I give up. You are the one who created the heavens and the earth…you’re the one I’m speaking to. My guru can do miracles and Jesus can do miracles. How am I supposed to know who is God?”
He wasn’t expecting an answer, but immediately, the still small voice of the Lord imparted these words: Who proved His love for you?
“I had just seen the place where Jesus was scourged and the spot where He was crucified, so the proof of his love for me was fresh in my mind. I had examined Buddha, Krishna, and Muhammad and all the others and I realized they never demonstrated love in real significant ways.”
“Only Jesus had done that and then He rose from the dead to prove he was God.” He recognized that Jesus was the only candidate for a genuine incarnation of God.
Foster flew back to L.A. and returned to his ashram. Filled with a new boldness from above, he told the people living there they were not following the true God. In fact, he told them they were following the antichrist! That got him kicked out.
He sought counsel with Jack Lew, an associate pastor at Hollywood Presbyterian Church. “I’ve been sleeping with three or four people a night for the last 10 years,” he confessed to Lew. He also told him about his drug addiction. “I know you’re here to tell me to stop and I’m here to tell you I can’t stop.”
“It’s good to realize you can’t stop,” Lew replied. “Let’s let Jesus do it for you.”
The two men prayed together. “God, if you will, set me free from these things,” Foster prayed.
As he recalls that moment, he says, “I was newly saved and I believed him. Nobody told me what God couldn’t do, so I went home and believed God would set me free.”
The prayer of faith was answered! He left behind his life as a male prostitute. “I never took drugs again and never acted out. It was miraculous!” he says.
“The temptations didn’t go away,” Foster observes. “But the power they had over me went away. God gave me the ability to say no and there was power behind the no for the first time ever.”
It took Foster seven years before he was fully healed of the demonic strongholds and addictive patterns in his
brain. After seven years, he felt he was healthy enough for a relationship with the opposite sex.
He asked God if he should marry, and shortly after that, he had a dream in which he married God in heaven. “At the time, I didn’t realize that is a common dream for nuns and priests in the Catholic Church,” Foster notes.
Then he was flipping through a catalog and noticed a wedding ring. He kept turning the pages, but felt God nudging Him once more: Stop, go back to that ring. That’s our wedding ring.
When he turned back to the page he saw the inscription on the ring was from the Song of Solomon: “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”
“The word beloved in Hebrew is ‘David,’” he notes, “which is my name.”
“There is a multi-level perfection to it when God guides me,” he marvels. After the dream he became certain his “call was to remain single,” so he never married, “except to the Lord.”
If you want to know more about a personal relationship with God, go here
Foster founded Mastering Life Ministries in 1987 and is also the producer and host of “Pure Passion” — a televised outreach designed to equip the church to minister to those trapped in sexual sin and brokenness. He is the author of “Sexual Healing: A Biblical Guide to Finding Freedom from Sexual Sin and Brokenness,” which has been made into an “Angel Award” winning video and audio course and has been used by many ministries. David has served as adjunct professor at Asbury Theological Seminary, The Bible Institute of Hawaii, Logos Christian College & Graduate School and Trinity Episcopal School for Ministry and currently serves on the faculty of the Wagner Leadership Institute.
that is a POWERFUL testimony! thank you for sharing this
David Kyle Foster’s transformation was truly genius given that not many fat, bald, old street hustlers would have thought of such a creative way to cash in on their old life as going from ‘gay for pay’ male escort to playing an ‘ex gay for pay.’ And the best part of it all is that Foster admits he is not heterosexual, so you have to be gullible enough to believe he simply never has sex.
That’s your opinion and one’s own opinion is one’s own belief. You simply don’t understand the “power of God in a person’s life”, it transcends this physical realm to a spiritual realm where a person is transformed by the “power of God”. All you know is the experience 0f that physical realm upon this earth but we born-again Christians made that “transition” from this “physical realm” to the “spiritual realm” where we experience the “power of God”.
And because it is a “spiritual realm” and God is Spirit, it can only be experience by your own “spirit” and every man has a “spirit” a “soul”. You are “earthbound” in the “flesh” you cannot “see it” you cannot “touch it” unless you make that “transition” then “your spirit” will know the “power of the Spirit of God”.
A waterfall of grace hit him! That’s our Jesus!
“Where sin does abound grace does the more abound.”
I too had a similar experience ot this brother, when I first called out from a broken heart, not even knowing if Jesus was real or if He had risen from the dead. he came to me.
I did not have his back-ground, but I was equally sinful in other ways.
I will print his testimony (I have mine already printed,) and will use it as the Lord leads.
Thank You Jesus!
He is the Faithful God!
“And He has a name written on His thigh: Faithful and True.” (Revelation.)
Praise Jesus
Wow! I am brought to tears every time I watch the trailer! Having friends who have bought into the lie and have suffered so much…now to see the freedom experienced by these dear people! I am so thankful to the Lord to care so much to give us His word! Let’s be bold to speak the truth in love so others can be set free from this entrapment. See Psalm 107. Praise to our all loving, all powerful Savior!
Thank you for sharing your story. May The Lord increase his blessings in your life.
A very strong testimony! I get a sense of that it is prayers behind, from the christian background, that finally got him through, and also kept him until that was the case. This prompts me to think of the importance of prayer for those who might not have one praying for them.
Lisa Salazar(Transgender) testimony that (he/she) was guided by God to a understanding of Matthew 19:12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb.
I heard Jesus’ words through them once again, “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest…”
As I sat by myself in the quietness of my bedroom that night, unable to answer a most basic question with any conviction, I admitted to God I did not know Jesus the way housemate, Dennis, did. I said that if he had anything to do with the peace and loving nature that exuded from Dennis, I wanted that for myself too. I also hoped this was going to be the silver bullet that would once an for all put an end to my gender confusion, which was the “heavy burden” that had made we “weary” of life.
It was not a dramatic instant conversion. In fact, as I thought the words, which became my prayer, there was a lot of self-mocking going on inside me. “Man, you’ve really lost it’ here you are praying to a god you don’t even know is there!”
In the few weeks that followed, I saw changes in me that I could not attribute to my own strength or self-determination
I found myself psychoanalyzing these changes and wondered if maybe I was going insane. I saw two completely different personalities at work in me, the old insecure and self-conscious one, and a new more at peace and freer one.
About four weeks into this “old man” vs. “new man” existence (or was I really going nuts), I worked up the courage to speak to Dennis and tell him what had been going on inside me, leaving out my gender confusion, of course.
Dennis opened his King James Bible and read from II Corinthians 5:17… “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
That passage convinced me Jesus was real and that it was Jesus who was at work in my life. Dennis encouraged me to acknowledge Jesus and make it official, which I gladly did. In my zeal and fervor I also believed I was going to be “normal” and that I was going to be free of my gender confusion forever.
The problem was the secret struggle never went away. The tension was always there and I simply felt like a hypocrite, a failure, and completely defeated.
But why wasn’t God answering my prayers? Why did my mind always go to that forbidden place
I was guilt-ridden whenever I strayed from Christian literature and looked at secular content.
Cross-dressing for me had always produced an incredible amount of guilt, which as a Christian, I also labeled as “conviction.”
Though I felt a tranquility when I slept in a pair of panties, for example, I felt horrible that I had “forced” this on my wife. The sense of hypocrisy and the pervasive guilt it produced made it not worthwhile.
Fast-forward nine years. Nothing had changed, the daily struggle had continued and the problem was I was thinking about death all the time.
So I got a referral to the clinic and for the next six months underwent a psychological evaluation. My diagnosis and the suggested course of action was not what I wanted to hear.
And my question to God at the time was: “If this diagnosis and proposed treatment is a gift from you, how is it possible that the solution to my very private and secret struggle is to make very outward and public changes?”
Fast-forward another eight years. In November of 2007 I went back to the clinic; I needed help. By this time I had reconciled my faith in Jesus to the diagnosis and now feared a complete mental collapse more than the prospect of transitioning.
The price has been steep. I miss my wife immensely, what turned out for her to be a thirty-two year sentence of being married to a transgender person she never expected, she had given enough.
I was in dire straights in 2006. Something told me that I needed to unpack Matthew 19.
Our pastor had given a sermon that really spoken to me. He warned that it was dangerous to base a doctrine on only one verse in the Bible.
Understanding the context, he said, was sometimes as important as the text in order to understand the pretext
The pretext is that the marriage ideal—the covenant based on fidelity—is of supreme importance to God, but so are those who have been culturally excluded in this tradition.
Jesus also does not say that all who are somehow sexually not one hundred percent male or female are therefore expected to live a life of abstinence.
With respect to marriage, why not allow a eunuch to marry.
By the way, who should a eunuch be allowed to marry, another eunuch?
Thus went my thoughts over a period of several weeks was I now deluding myself with apostate doctrines? Was I wanting to have my ears tickled and thereby help fulfill Paul’s warning for the last days?
New King James Version
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus Teaches on Celibacy
11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”
Was (he/she) guided by the Holy Spirit?
Lisa Salazar’s story was very persuasive and I was in a state of great uncertainty about the true interpretation of God’s Word. For three days I was in turmoil begging God to deliver me from terrible doubt and uncertainty that Lisa Salazar’s story induced in me. Then late last night a revelation come to me about certain words Lisa Salazar spoken in her/his story and these are the words: “I was in dire straights in 2006. Something told me that I needed to unpack Matthew 19”. “Our pastor had given a sermon that really spoken to me. He warned that it was dangerous to base a doctrine on only one verse in the Bible”. “Understanding the context, he said, was sometimes as important as the text in order to understand the pretext”. Lisa Salazar said “that really spoken to me”, does Lisa Salazar realized who really spoke to her/him, the Spirit of God in that pastor warning her/him. But did Lisa Salazar listen…No…she/him continue the crusade to finding a answer to relieve her/him from the anxiety of Gender Dysphoria. Lisa Salazar took that one verse in Matthew :19:12: For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb. Lisa Salazar misinterpret that verse and does she/him realized who actually made that misinterpretation in her/his thoughts.
Lisa Salazar said in her story:
“In November of 2007 I went back to the clinic; I needed help. By this time I had reconciled my faith in Jesus to the diagnosis and now feared a complete mental collapse more than the prospect of transitioning.”
How is that possible what he/she is saying: “I reconciled my faith in Jesus to the diagnosis”(to transition from a man to a women) and he/she said “and now feared a complete mental collapse more than the prospect of transitioning”.
What happened to Lisa Salazar’s “old man” vs. new man experience”. He/she said “the secret struggle never went away. The tension was always there and I simply felt like a hypocrite, a failure, and completely defeated”.
Lisa Salazar said: “But why wasn’t God answering my prayers? Why did my mind always go to that forbidden place”.
Was there something Lisa Salazar wasn’t doing according to the word of God?
The Apostle Paul said in Romans 12:1 “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind”. On this Christian site https://www.gotquestions.org/living-sacrifice.html it said:
What does a living sacrifice look like in the practical sense? The following verse (Romans 12:2) helps us to understand. We are a living sacrifice for God by not being conformed to this world. The world is defined for us in 1 John 2:15-16 as the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. All that the world has to offer can be reduced to these three things.
How can believers NOT be conformed to the world? By being “transformed by the renewing of our minds.” We do this primarily through the power of God’s Word to transform us. We need to hear (Romans 10:17), read (Revelation 1:3), study (Acts 17:11), memorize (Psalm 119:9-11), and meditate on (Psalm 1:2-3) Scripture. The Word of God, ministered in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, is the only power on earth that can transform us from worldliness to true spirituality. In fact, it is all we need to be made “complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16, NKJV). The result is that we will be “able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2b). It is the will of God for every believer to be a living sacrifice for Jesus Christ.
Lisa Salazar said: “But why wasn’t God answering my prayers? Why did my mind always go to that forbidden place”.
Don’t we all believe in the transforming power of the Spirit of God?
Satan will suggest that the Word of God in Lisa Salazar’s life contradicted itself and he already suggested it to me.
Satan will say: “who is living the Lie” Lisa Salazar or God?
I said “Satan you know who is living the Lie, you are!
I read what Doctor Micheal Brown said to Lisa Salazar “You will say, of course, that your only other choice was suicide, but then you write in another post that you pray for your wife daily that God’s grace will be sufficient for her. Why wasn’t it sufficient for you”?
I read again what the Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10(his thorn in the flesh) And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
So how do we attain to “peace?” According to Hebrews chapter 12 Verse 11: For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Read it Hebrews 12 verses 1 to 12: Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.
Luke Chap.8 verse 15 Jesus said” But that on the good ground are they which in a honest and good heart having heard the word , keep it , and bring forth fruit with patience”. This has been my experience in my personal relationship with God “bring forth fruit with patience”. There were certain sins in my life that did not go “instantly” but by the Holy Spirit working in me the fruit of the Holy Spirit developed in me as I was patient. Now I have no more struggle with sin for the “life of sin” is dead and the Life of the Holy Spirit continues in me to eternal life. Romans Chap.6 verse 7: For he that is dead is freed from sin. James Chap. 1 verse 2: My brethren count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations Verse 3: Knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience. Verse 4: But let patience have her perfect work , that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. And Verse 5: If any of you lack wisdom , let him ask of God , that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not and it shall be given him.
Jesus said in Luke Chapter 18, verse 1 ” that men ought always to Pray and not to Faint”. In Matthew 26, verse 41 He said “Watch and Pray, that Ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing but the Flesh(sinful nature) is weak”.
What Jesus is saying “Watch and Pray” that Ye enter not into strong temptation.
Watch when strong temptation arises within You and no matter how difficult it is to make the effort to Pray, God said Pray and not to Faint(its means to lose heart:to give up). He said:Hebrews 4:16 “Come Boldly(with courage) to the Throne of Grace to obtain His Mercy and Seek His Grace to Help in Time of Need.
God’s Spirit upon the Apostle Paul said in Galatians 6:9 “Let us not be weary in Well-doing(in praying and doing good). For in due Season we shall Reap(win the victory) if we do not faint.
1 Peter 4:12
What Jesus said in the Gospel of John 15:verses 1 to 5 is true “for without me you can do nothing”. I found out later that the strong temptations that abided within me became very little. What was a mountain within me became a pebble on the beach.
2Corinthians 10: Verse 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal (not of the flesh) but mighty through God(they are of the Spirit) to the pulling down of strongholds( strong authorities of sin and of Satan) Verse 5: Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. The authority of sin and of Satan no longer had a hold on me: the thoughts and imaginations just disappeared over time I experienced they were weaker and very few and further in between.
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you.
Now look at 1 Peter Chapter 5 verses 8,9,10
Verse 8: Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour. Verse 9: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. And Verse 10: But the God of all Grace, who hath call us unto his eternal glory by Jesus Christ, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
What did the apostle Paul say in Ephesians 6: Verses 11 to 18.
“Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles (tricks that are intended to deceive or entice) of the Devil”. Paul said that we wrestle against evil powers : against spiritual wickedness in high places. He said take on the whole armour of God that ye may withstand in the evil day. Verse 16 take the shield of Faith where we’re able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Verse 17 take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit : which is the word of God. And verse 18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit.
Now go back to 1 Peter Chapter 5 verse 9: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. The same afflictions are accomplished in our brethren that are in the world. A new-born babe born of God’s Spirit will meet with a battle with the devil: this is the fiery trial: this is the afflictions and in this fiery trial and afflictions we put on the whole armour of God praying always with all prayer in the Spirit until the battle is over and we win the victory through the Grace of God. Sometimes a new-born babe will fall but he will get back up and continue to pray in the midst of the fiery trial and afflictions knowing that his only hope is in God.
I remember what Paul said and I read it again in Ephesians 6: Verses 11 to 18.
“Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles (tricks that are intended to deceive or entice) of the Devil”. Paul said that we wrestle against evil powers : against spiritual wickedness in high places. He said take on the whole armour of God that ye may withstand in the evil day. Verse 16 take the shield of Faith where we’re able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Verse 17 take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit : which is the word of God. And verse 18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit.
Then I realize what Paul said in verse 18: Prayer…Praying is a part of the Armour of God.
Prayer is a weapon in the Armour of God : I have Faith in that and Faith is my Shield and I believed in the Word that Paul said what he had spoken about Prayer and the Word is the Sword of the Spirit.
To bring forth fruit with patience that’s how I experience the transforming power of the Spirit of God.
Indeed it was quite a struggle but there were moments when God brought me back to the book of Hebrews 12 verse 3 : Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. The peaceful fruit of righteousness developed in me as I endured with patience, the authority of sin and of Satan no longer had a hold on me: the thoughts and imaginations just disappeared over time I experienced they were weaker and very few and further in between.
According to Hebrews 12 verse 3 Lisa Salazar grew weary and fainthearted.
I retract everything I said about Lisa Salazar(the transgender). It’s unjustified.
My recent email to Doctor Michael Brown:
I read your comments one time when you talked about the climate change upon this earth and whether it is God’s judgment but you said “We must remember that it’s just as wrong to ‘speak for God’ when He’s not speaking, as it is to miss His voice when He is”.
Here is your dialogue with Lisa Salazar:
You wrote: (Lisa Salazar wrote to you)”I’m sure you would have stood with me as I held on for my healing from the inside out, but after nearly forty years of holding on with me, I suspect your words would have sounded hollow, even to you. Are you sure you have God figured out that well? Are you not saying to me it would have been better for me not to transition and to keep hoping and waiting, even if I died before the “acceptable” cure that does not offend your sensibilities was found? Will you not grant that God may choose a different way than what you propose that does not include a miraculous healing? This has implications that go beyond the transgender issue. What do you offer to those who struggle with any one of the hundreds, if not thousands of conditions that plagued humanity? Do you ask them to hold on until God heals them from the inside out? What do you so to those who obviously are never going to be blessed, honestly? Would you prevent them from opting for a human solution?”
Thanks for believing that I would have stood with you. (I believe you are right.) But I would never have counseled you to go against God’s design for your body – this is simply not an issue of, say, amputating a cancerous breast. There was nothing wrong with the parts of your body that were changed, and if I have a conviction that a certain treatment is contrary to God’s will, I would rather die holding to that rather than sin. So, to turn this around, if you were convinced that SRS was a sin in God’s sight (I know you don’t, but stay with me here), would you have had it done, even if it offered you peace?
It seems like you spoke for God to Lisa Salazar when He wasn’t speaking.
Lisa Salazar made the “transition” and it offered her “Peace”, what happened to the “conviction of sin”? Why is she confident in her faith that she has the “assurance of salvation?” Where there is the “conviction of sin” there’s the absence of “peace”. Only the Holy Spirit “convicts of sin” and that’s when He speaks.
The purpose of law is to bring one to the knowledge of sin according to Romans 3:20.
And in
Romans 4:15 : for where no law is, there is no transgression.”
Did God have a specific law for transgenders back to the time of Christ and the Apostles, transgenders were nonexistent so any specific law for it was and is nonexistent.
After much prayer, praying to the Lord about Lisa Salazar’s complicated testimony. I exerted much patience in praying to the Lord for revelation and I finally have an assurance of faith.
My message to Lisa Salazar on Blogger:
I read your testimony many times on Rachel Held Evans Blog and what stood out the most was the comments of your pastor at that time.
Your comments:
I was in dire straights in 2006. Something told me that I needed to unpack Matthew 19,
Your pastor’s comments:
” Our pastor had given a sermon that really spoken to me. He warned that it was dangerous to base a doctrine on only one verse in the Bible,
Understanding the context, he said, was sometimes as important as the text in order to understand the pretext.
Tell me what do you gather from that, I have prayed and prayed for revelation from God and I exerted much patience in doing so. I would have left it all alone, and left you alone except for a number of things that stood out in revelation: Contradiction, Discernment of the Spirit and Human Logic.
Number one: contradiction, there can’t be two different interpretations of Matthew 19, the interpretation of the many theologians and your interpretation.
Number two Discernment, the spirit that was with the many theologians when they interpreted Matthew 19 and the spirit that was with you when you interpreted Matthew 19.
The Spirit that was with your pastor when he warned that it was dangerous to base a doctrine on only one verse in the Bible.
And the Spirit that was with you when you said “that really spoken to me”.
But you disobeyed the Spirit in the pastor that warned you, the Spirit of God that spoken to you.
You said “that really spoken to me”. Who or what really spoke to you? the Spirit of God in that pastor warning you but you disobeyed and you did not listen.
You said “something told me that I needed to unpack Matthew 19” but then you were warned by the pastor that it was dangerous to base a doctrine on only one verse in the Bible.
Number three: Human Logic: it influenced you with a different interpretation and you thought it was discernment from the Spirit of God but the Spirit of God already warned you “that it was dangerous to base a doctrine on only one verse in the Bible”
You know what is left don’t you, repentance to God.
Ask Him and see if He would give you the same revelation.
What happened to these professing christians? They seem to be doing well when they were first born again and they ventured out in their walk with God. They read the scriptures and they were saved by grace (Ephesians 2: 8,9) What changed?
There was a time they had the consciousness of sin and now it seems their conscience has become seared (1 Timothy 4:2)
How did that happened? Did they grow weary and fainthearted in their walk with God (Hebrews 12:3)
Paul said to Timothy (1 Timothy 6:12) Fight the good fight of the faith.
Paul said to Timothy in (1 Timothy 1:18–19) “you may wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience”. He said to Timothy that some have rejected this and made a shipwreck of their faith. Have they made a shipwreck of both faith and a good conscience? Do they now take the bible out of context and do they only agreed to certain context of scripture that appeals to human logic? Are they suppressing the truth now, restraining it, holding it down, holding it back in their conscience?(Romans 1:18-19)
It would seem to me that if they persist in doing that their conscience would become “seared” (1 Timothy 4:2)
In (1 Thessalonians 5:19 ) it is said “Do not quench the Spirit”.
Did the “angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14) come in at the door, he comes in without knocking. He waited for the moment, he knew when to come in. He sees those who are “weary and fainthearted”, he’s going to make them feel good where they don’t have to “wage the good warfare”.
He incorporated human logic into the biblical equation, he “exchanged the truth of God for a lie” (Romans 1:25) What is our final authority human reasoning or the Bible? In Romans 4:3 For what saith the scripture? And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned unto him for righteousness.
We can’t always trust human reasoning, for human reasoning will make void other truths of Scripture.
The ‘angel of light” will incorporate human logic into the biblical equation.
What’s he saying(the angel of light) “don’t you see that God is love, the bible says so, he don’t condemn a same sex relationship if you embraced love in that relationship, don’t you see, you’ll have the love of God abiding in your heart”. The devil(as a angel of light) manipulates the Truth in a skillful manner, do you think he manipulates it just enough to appeal to human reasoning? Well I think that’s been on his agenda for a very long time, he knows that human logic influences people and he will manipulate certain truths of scripture by taking it out of context to appeal to human logic. Eve trusted her reason over what God had said and logically concluded that eating the fruit of the forbidden tree was the best choice for her and Adam. In these last days taking the bible out of context and applying human logic is the prevailing principle among professing christians.
Have christians fallen back into the darkness but they believed they walk in the light? Does the “angel of light” make them believe that they walk in the light?
The Lord said in Ezekiel 13:10 they have misled my people, saying, ‘Peace,’ when there is no peace.
The “angel of light” has spoken “peace” and the professing christians are deceived by a false peace.
They just professing christians now, they have fallen from the truths of the gospel. They’re no longer conscious of sin, for the devil has deceived them and they walk in that darkness where the “angel of light” speaks the lie of logic.
The prophet Isaiah said “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20).
I’m finished now with this and even if you respond I won’t answer for I now have an assurance of faith from God and I will continue on in my walk knowing that in your complicated testimony, God has given me revelation.
David Upton
David Upton testifies to being saved from a homosexual lifestyle that consumed his life for 27 years.
He said that he remembers at the age of 16 he went back to church but it was all a outward appearance, only on the surface. He said he was moved by the music and he felt compelled to go up to the front because his friends were doing it. A deacon came over to him and said that he needed to accept Christ into his heart and to repeat a prayer after him. He(David) did what the deacon said and then everyone there in the church congratulated him and the deacon told him he was saved. David said he left the church just as lost as when he came in.
He said two weeks later he was baptized but he never understood what he was doing, he said that he never understood the doctrines of grace and mercy.
He said on the outward appearance he walked the christian walk and pretended to be a Christian. David said at that time, the age of 16, sinful desires grew inside him. There at church he had sinful thoughts about young men his own age, but he thought they would passed away but the thoughts(desires) grew worse and worse.
David said in that same year, at the age of 16 he slept with the first male. He said that he was ashamed and repulsed by what he had done yet his sinful nature was also satisfied in the pleasure of the sin. He said as time went on he became more comfortable with the pleasure, he said that it felt natural, it felt normal. He said he felt the guilt because he was doing something wrong against God.
David said that soon after he rebelled against his parents and he turned to drugs and alcohol. He said that he had a big blowout with his parents and ended up leaving and soon after he joined the Navy.
David said he didn’t need parents to answer to, he had a income, but he said when he got to California his sins really took off. David said the drinking, the drugs, the sex got him in such a state he had to go into a hospital. He said the hospital ran several tests and one was a drug test and they discovered much of his history of drug abuse. He said that his career in the Navy was ended because he was found to be a homosexual and that was forbidden in the Navy.
He joined up with some gay friends of his that were Canadians living in the states who decided to go back to Canada and he follow them. He didn’t tell his parents where he was going and for four years he lived in Canada and he didn’t even contact them.
He(David) remembered times he got very depressed and thought, was there nothing more to this life than drinking, drugs and this sin.
He was at a party, out on the patio of a balcony, 22 stories up, feeling so depressed, tired of fighting life and disgusted with himself. He wanted to commit suicide so he got up on the ledge of the balcony and put one foot out and was about to jump but David said these thoughts came out of nowhere as he was about to jump “There’s always hope in God”.
David said he needed to find God to find that hope, he said that the next major thought that hit him was he couldn’t do this, that it was wrong, it was a sin to take his own life and the last thought he remembered, he couldn’t dishonor his parents this way. David Upton witness on the ledge of that balcony Divine Intervention.
He got off the ledge and left the party and never saw most of those people again. He said he tried to clean himself up, to stop drinking, but it didn’t really work, he eventually left Canada and went back home to Texas.When he got back to Texas, everything was good at first, being around his family but he felt guily about his lifestyle and he wanted to get away from them again. David said that his partner at that time suggested that they head out to California and he thought getting away from his family would make him feel better, that he would be different. But in California it didn’t get any better and he wasn’t any different, he was the same person that he always was. He said that out in California he’d done things he never done before, he continued to sin but his sins became more appalling. He thought that if he tried different things, it would make him happy, that he would be fulfilled and be at peace. He said he was never really at peace, there was always a part of him deep down that knew what he was doing wasn’t right. Still he wanted to pursue his sinful lifestyle, he said its who he was, its what he’s become. With the continuious use of drugs and drinking he said he finally became sick, he was severely dehydrated and ended up into a hospital.
He said at that time he was really sick with pneumonia and he left the hospital, the pneumonia became worse and he ended back in the hospital. The doctor said that he had the worst case of double pneumonia that she had ever seen and that his body was severely dehydrated, she said that if he wasn’t brought in at that time, he would had died.
David said he was grateful to God but not in a sincere way, he said he was grateful that he had the chance to continue his sinful lifestyle. He said that being laid up in the hospital, he planned on what he was going to do first to fulfill his lustful desire when he got out of the hospital. When he regained his health he got out of the hospital and soon after he met up with a friend who was a Christian. His Christian friend questioned him about his conversion, how God saved him. David told him what happened in church when He was 16, but his Christian friend did not believed there was any real conversion. His Christian friend knew his lifestyle, he knew he was a homosexual, he said that David couldn’t live in that lifestyle and be a child of God.
David wanted to believe that he was a child of God but his lifestyle was a contradiction to the Word of God. He said he started to read the bible and discovered that none of his beliefs were in alignment with the teachings of the bible. The only thing he believed was that Christ died upon a cross. He said at that time when he started to read the bible, paying more attention to it and comparing himself to what the bible said, his partner felt threatened by the whole thing. He fought against David reading and studying the bible and insulted him and spoke profanities against christians and Christ. David said that he remembers that something inside of him felt the pain of how wrong his partner was. David continued studying the Word of God and listening to a Christian radio show hosted by Todd Friel and he thought that he should rededicate his life to Christ. He said that he started to pray to the Lord to have mercy upon him, praying that God would show him the truth, how to live for Him. He said at that time everything fell apart for him and the only positive thing was that God took away his desire for alcohol and drugs, he said that he no longer drank like he once did. David said that he could see that God was giving him grace and mercy, making him sober so that he would be able to process and believe His Truths. As David read deeper into the scripture and God opened his eyes he realized that he had to get away from his partner, away from that environment. He moved back to Texas, to his mother and sister, he said he tried to repent to God, he pleaded for mercy because he realized he wasn’t saved. But his repentance wasn’t sincere because in his innermost thoughts he wanted to retained one sin, homosexually. David said that he’d find some way to justified it, find a way to do it in secret but he knew that God would never save him unless he sincerely repented of his sin. He said that he spent months crying out to the Lord to save him. David said that his whole life had been a sin against God and he said that God further opened his eyes and gave him a clear picture of who Christ was. David realized that Christ died and bored his sins upon that cross, God opened his eyes to a deeper understanding that because of his sins Christ sacrifice His life and bore his(David’s) sins upon that cross. David realized why Christ had to suffered the death of the cross, it was sin, his sin, and David said “I was responsible for His death”.
David said that up until that moment in his life he never really understood what real repentance was, that it was a turning away from his sin, it was more than just saying you’re sorry. He said up until that moment all he been doing was saying he was sorry and trying to find a way to live his sinful lifestyle.
He said he realize then that he was without hope, that he was doomed to stay in that sinful lifestyle and then go to hell. David said that he got down on the floor of his bedroom and confessed every sin he could think of, he begged God to forgive him for the secret sins, he said that he confessed his homosexually. David said he never understood what it meant to be redeemed by Him, what it meant to love Him, what it meant to serve Him,what it meant to be forgiven, what it meant to be regenerated. Into the night he prayed and begged God to forgive him, to help him, he said that he didn’t know how God was going to help him, David said he didn’t think it was possible. He said that he never heard of anyone with any hope of being redeemed from homosexually.
He said he went to bed that night not knowing whether he was saved or not but woke in the morning and felt things were different. He said he didn’t feel the guilt, he didn’ feel the anxiety of guilt, he didn’t feel the tension or stress of making a decision which in the passed months that was all he felt, the tension of guilt and conviction. David said he knew there was something different inside of him but part of him didn’t believe that he could be saved from homosexually. Then he found in Scripture which said “I acknowledged my sin to You and my iniquity I have not hidden.”I said, “I confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”Psalm 32:5. David said he understood what it meant to repent, that he didn’t keep anything hidden from Him, though nothing was really hidden from Him, David said he tried to but then he confessed it all and that’s why he felt different that day. He said that’s why he felt different in the days that passed, the conviction and the guilt, it was all gone. For God had lifted it and he(David) was saved by His Grace and as each day passed he felt the desire for homosexually to fall away and he stood in wonder about it. David said he didn’t believed what God could do for him and yet He did what He said He would do, make him a new creature just as it says in His Word. David said that God gave him a new heart with new desires and he rejoiced in the glory of it, he appreciated what God had done for him and he marveled at His goodness, His mercy, His longsuffering and patience.
David said that there are times where he is still tempted but he knew there was nothing wrong, even Christ was tempted and he knew he could turn to Christ in times of temptation, he took comfort in knowing that. He said he took comfort in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as common to men. But God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you’re able, but with the temptation will also make a way of escape that you may be able to bear it. He found that to be true every time he rested in Christ’s strength to overcome temptation. David said every single time, in every single instance no matter what the sin was. He said that he’s not afraid of what the future holds for he has the assurance that he’s made right with God through His Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ.
Does the Word of God create a paradox, where two different concepts in the bible contradict each other?
In order not to see apparent contradiction many passages in the bible has to come into alignment with revelation.
Man cannot justify himself, he can’t sit in judgment against God and subject His counsel to human logic.
There’s no such thing as the “invisible strings” of His foreknowledge as the devil would “suggest” Once you have the Spirit of God,the Grace of God abiding in you, you cannot walk after the flesh and those that do abuse the grace of God and become backsliders and return to sin and its authority.
There are those who once had the Grace of God abiding in them; in their stubbornness they continue to willfully sin and the Light and the Grace they once had could not remain. A candle lights up a room but once a candle is put out nothing remains but darkness.
Certain biblical verses in Hebrews warns christains not to continue in sin and those who continue in sin have a certain fear abiding in them of the Judgement that is to come.
I’m reminded of what a man who once said to me “better to fear now then to suffer an a eternity of fear in hell”. He said that God as a father will discipline His children with fear of the Judgement to come.
In His Wisdom God uses “fear” to discipline His children especially with those who are stubborn and do not listen “just like a father who would discipline his own son” but once you listen to God and pray for His Grace to obey Him the “fear” no longer abides in a heart that wants to obey Him.
And those who want to obey pray for His Grace to obey Him and they are those who have His Peace in their own conscience.
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